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Daily Prompt: Seven Wonders by Henrietta Maddox
October 28, 2013, 8:36 pm
Filed under: Help Yourself, Love, Mental Well Being, Sex, Writing | Tags:

“Khalil Gibran once said that people will never understand one another unless language is reduced to seven words. What would your seven words be?”










Eat, Pray, Love or Loathe
April 11, 2011, 10:11 am
Filed under: Help Yourself, Love, Writing

Years ago, a few sassy, strong and independent women I know said to me, “Have you heard of Eat, Pray, Love? You must read it, it’s great. It’s like nothing you’ve ever read before”. So, when opportunity arose (I was in a bookshop and had nothing to read), I bought, read, loved. I thought it was such a harmless book of such an epic journey that no-one could dislike it.

It was the seed of a journey of my own. One that didn’t involve travelling, actually. It involved experimenting with meditation, exercise but more often than not, expanding on reading that aimed to guide you to inner peace. But I don’t know if any of that would have happened if it wasn’t for the writing of Elizabeth Gilbert.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s no Aldous Huxley but she’s mildly humourous, never bombastic and writes in a conversational style that’s familiar; with ideas, thoughts and issues that many women can relate to.And a story of how she changed her life for the better rather than staying deeply unhappy in a loveless marriage. Do if you’re interesting in self-discovery, her story could be one of inspiration for you.

Recently (as said in an earlier post) I realised not everyone sees this book in the same way. Here are some of the comments on Amazon:

“It’s awful! Navel-gazing, whingeing, self-pitying, self-obsessed, narcissistic without the charm or humour that might have made it likeable.”

“One can just imagine Ms.Gilbert sniggering as she writes about her ‘spiritual’ experiences, (particularly the appalling self-centred nonsense that is the ‘India’ section) and then laughing all the way to the bank as half-wit readers ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at her every word.
This is a truly self-pitying, self-indulgent and badly written book.”

I’m intrigued to know more about these reviewers. Where they come from. What they have to offer in terms of recommendations. But most of all, how they’ve got themselves into such a tether about the book. You can’t disagree that Gilbert talks about herself a lot. But it’s not exactly moaning, is it? I suspect these women either have a taste for classic literature. Or more likely, have got themselves into lifeless marriages and don’t know how to get themselves out.

Indulge yourself
April 7, 2011, 8:59 am
Filed under: Love, Mental Well Being

Recently, I was surfing on Amazon and looking at reviews of Eat, Pray, Love. All of the negative comments and views made a recurring judgement: Elizabeth Gilbert was too self-indulgent in her writing. Perplexed, I spent the next few days thinking about this. Personally, I’d really enjoyed reading about her journey. And, also, know I’m guilty of talking about myself a lot. My main questions were: what’s so bad about being self-indulgent?

It’s something we all know a lot about. For really, who is more important than I? Without taking care of I, how can we help others. In the context of Elizabeth Gilbert’s life, she was at a point where she needed to focus on herself. And her writing has inspired many people I know, including myself, to be pro-active in progressing as a person rather than just naval-gazing.

Of course, we all know, there are times when talking about yourself is highly inappropriate. If someone tells you they’re dying and you disregard the moment to tell them about how you saw Kevin Bacon on Oxford Street, you should know you’re an a%$#hole. But don’t you think that it’s more often the case that the subtext from that person is, “I want to relate to you” and “I know what you’re going through, I’ve been through it too.”

I would love to know anyone’s views on this. Love to find some clarity on the matter.  Should we really be ashamed of indulging in ourselves?

August 23, 2008, 1:28 pm
Filed under: Dating, Love

I’ve been single for two years now. You could say loneliness has become an old friend. Sometimes, I try and fight the feeling by hanging out with friends or immersing myself in entertainment. But the fact still remains – I am alone.

Occasionally, I take consolation in the fact that we live in a world filled with singles. It’s not like the old days, is it? You don’t settle down with one guy/girl and that’s the end of it. Nevertheless, it would be good to have someone, or even some casual lovers.

Of course, we all daydream of that one person who can complete us. But is it possible? Does it all really fall into place when you meet the one? I think that even if that’s true, there’s no way it is forever.

Another idea is that I just relax and accept that relationships, these days, just run a course and then they’re over.  Perhaps if I stop waiting for this perfect match to turn up, romantic happiness will follow.

Harbouring Thoughts
August 7, 2008, 9:50 pm
Filed under: Friendships, Love, Mental Well Being, Writing

I read in Psychologies magazine, that women who write about their feelings and thoughts in their thirties (and let them go afterwards) live longer. Where they got this piece of evidence is beyond me. But it does make some sense, when you think about it. Women need to express themselves as much as possible to reduce stress. Stress causes illness. It’s common sense.

I have always been so open that I should have a big heart on the sleeve of every top I own. Some people find it refreshing and others find it attention seeking or foolish. Either way, wall flower or shrinking voilet are not phrases you would associate with me. But the downside of my openness is that I will share thoughts that I just can’t let go of. I can be like a broken record: agonising over comments from people that usually have no meaning in my life. Letting go is something I need to overcome. The question is: how?

I’ve tried living in the moment. It works when I do it consciously, but it is not an easy task. I’ve tried the intoxication route but that can only work for so long and has too many negative side effects. Recently, I have considered holistic therapies but this will obviously have to wait until I have some money.

So, the only real option in my current situation is to get fit and love myself enough to be genuinely secure. This might sound strange, even random but I truly believe that if you can get a good balance of security and confidence, you will not worry so much about other people.

I am sure there is more to it than that. But surely, fitness and health is a good place to start.

Loosening the screws…
July 15, 2008, 10:31 am
Filed under: Dating, Love

I’ve been living in Brighton for nearly a year now. I’m no closer to having a relationship than when I got here. I haven’t met any men who have the ‘wowser’ factor and I am started to wonder why.

My housemate is in a similar predicament. Looking at us both there is one thing that is clear: we are too picky and take the whole thing too seriously. They’re always too tall, too small or too old, too eccentric, intelligent or moody. I could go on but you get the picture, right?

So we have both promised each other to be a bit cooler about the whole issue of dating and give more guys a chance. After all, no one’s perfect.

My idea to try out our new leaf is to go out to a bar and see who can get the most numbers. Without appearing desperate, obviously, and throwing ourselves at them. Whether or not it will happen is another matter. But if it does, I will keep you posted.