Henrietta Maddox Webloner


Harbouring Thoughts
August 7, 2008, 9:50 pm
Filed under: Friendships, Love, Mental Well Being, Writing

I read in Psychologies magazine, that women who write about their feelings and thoughts in their thirties (and let them go afterwards) live longer. Where they got this piece of evidence is beyond me. But it does make some sense, when you think about it. Women need to express themselves as much as possible to reduce stress. Stress causes illness. It’s common sense.

I have always been so open that I should have a big heart on the sleeve of every top I own. Some people find it refreshing and others find it attention seeking or foolish. Either way, wall flower or shrinking voilet are not phrases you would associate with me. But the downside of my openness is that I will share thoughts that I just can’t let go of. I can be like a broken record: agonising over comments from people that usually have no meaning in my life. Letting go is something I need to overcome. The question is: how?

I’ve tried living in the moment. It works when I do it consciously, but it is not an easy task. I’ve tried the intoxication route but that can only work for so long and has too many negative side effects. Recently, I have considered holistic therapies but this will obviously have to wait until I have some money.

So, the only real option in my current situation is to get fit and love myself enough to be genuinely secure. This might sound strange, even random but I truly believe that if you can get a good balance of security and confidence, you will not worry so much about other people.

I am sure there is more to it than that. But surely, fitness and health is a good place to start.

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1 Comment so far
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hi
liked your writing and i wonder, how old are you? which side of the thirties? I am nearing forty and learning bit by bit, more and more, about living in the moment. Because that is, after all, all there is. Living in the past or the future just keeps us out of tune with the moment. And the letting go? that’s simply letting go of the past and future when it eclipses the present. i think the key is in the body, it is with us all the time and a great friend in calling us back into the moment. From this true centre comes security and confidence.

I read a good zen story the other week, about letting go. Two monks head off walking, told by their master that they’re not to talk or to touch any other person. They walk for a few days and nothing eventful happens. then they come to a river where an old lady needs to cross. One of the monks greets the lady and carries her across. The other stays silent. The silent monk says nothing for a couple days, though he is bursting with the urge to talk and to chastise the other … and finally the other monk turns to him and says, ‘I picked up the lady and spoke to her, then I put her down and moved on. You are still carrying her.’

Comment by BMbloggirl




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